On Valentine’s Day, we can’t help but think about love, and for me, that means candy. Specifically, See’s candy, which I can easily indulge in by myself.
For more than a decade, I’ve been single, but it was a bit of a shock when my husband blindsided me with divorce papers as our daughter was poised to embark on her college years. It was a challenging period for me, but over time, I’ve come to embrace my single status. The idea of entering into another long-term relationship doesn’t hold much appeal for me, even though my ex-husband and I have worked through our issues and have a friendly relationship now.
Being single has given me a sense of freedom that I never knew I wanted. The joy of making my own decisions, spending my money as I please, and traveling where I want has been incredibly liberating. No more arguments about loading the dishwasher a certain way or disagreements about holiday plans. I now have the luxury of living life on my own terms.
In the world of marriage and relationships, expert opinions suggest that conflict in a marriage can actually be an indication of a strong relationship. Psychologists John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman believe that maintaining a balance of positive and negative interactions during conflicts is key to a lasting relationship. Their research has shown that a ratio of five positive interactions for every negative interaction can contribute to a strong and enduring relationship.
Reflecting on my own marriage, I now think back on those conflicts with a sense of gratitude that I don’t have to experience them anymore. I’m appreciative of the freedom that comes with being single and the peace it has brought to my life. And I must admit, I indulge in See’s candy with even more joy now that it’s all just for me.
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